As a mamma with children worth more than anything in the world, I am willing to do anything for them. But I recognize that I often let my own lack of self value get in the way of treating them properly. This really stood out to me in mothers when I have offered help, but the mom turns me down with something along the lines of, “You don’t have to do that for us,” or “Are you sure? I don’t want to inconvenience you…” I’ve definitely said things like that before. I started thinking, is that statement, while not intentionally being stated for this reason, saying, “My baby (or toddler or child) isn’t worth your sacrifice or help or hard work.” or “I don’t know - your comfort and ease of life is more important than my baby and I being helped.” ??
Mamma - accept help.
Value your baby intentionally and BOLDLY enough to say, “Yes, my baby would benefit greatly from that,” or “Yes, that would relieve so much stress and so allow baby and me to bond more…” Whatever it is, don’t let your struggle in self worth, in wanting to people please, or in not wanting to cause an “inconvenience” (which is probably born out of a not-so-positive view of self) affect how you serve your baby. You are a HUGE role model in their life. You will show them their value. But it’s not all about how you help them. A lot of the time it is the pride you are willing to sacrifice and lay down to receive help for their sake. And for your sake!
You taking care of yourself will show them that they should value self-care, too.
Of course, there is the balance of not being selfish, not just giving up on things because it is hard and you need your sleep. I know the world can push mothers value so much that it can lead us to do things that don't benefit baby but only mom. Your sacrifice at the cost of your comfort for them will show them their value, too. But, please. Accept healthy help when offered. See how you value your baby enough to do so. To even ask for help, even in the simplest ways. Your baby will see and grow in that, and learn to say, “I am valuable enough to ask for help. I need to be helped in my time of need.” It will also show them that they do need help. Christ's Gospel shows us this very clearly - we cannot live a life honoring to God without Him. That reflects in our every day life I think, but far too often we feel pressured to get it together, pull up our boot straps, do things on our own, so we can show the world that We got this. I get the pressure. But it’s simply unrealistic to live a healthy, balanced life without community and help. Your kids will also be able to see healthy service from others and learn how to serve their family and friends and neighbors, too! What a proud mamma you will be when you see your babies loving confidently this way!
Let’s analyze why we say our yeses and nos together. I have to do this over and over again. And let’s say Yes to Jesus and His grace and help together.